the Timeline

As time would have it, my birthday just passed recently and since it was kind of a landmark occasion for me, so I began to reminisce on my life story so far. Lately, I’ve written a few blog entries about how things have seemed so surreal to me, about how fast time has gone by and all that. It got me thinking, picturing it like a timeline you sometimes see in history books and all that.

Age 3-8
Looking back at where I was just ten years ago, I didn’t think I’d be blogging away in the comfort of a hotel room I’m staying on business. Back then I was just a kid in the small town of Miri, happy to be with my family in what is probably one of the nicer places to live in Malaysia. I was a happy kid then, and I have good memories of the childhood friends I had, even the older ones that I constantly annoyed. Its amazing to see how these older guys are all married now, with careers, living out their own lives.

Age 9-11
Of all places, I’d move on from Miri to be in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. It was a country virtually unknown to most Malaysians at the time. Malaysians probably only remembered it as a strange south east asian country that their national football team would encounter during the Tiger Cup (currrently known as the AFF Suzuki Cup). I’ll probably remember it most for the awesome friend spring rolls and the generally shorter people, although I think they’re getting taller now, hahah.

It would be there where I’d meet people from Europe, Australia and other parts of the world thanks to international school. I remember being good friends with Sebastien Ferriere, who I recently discovered is an Oxford graduate! I was really grateful for people like him and Alastair Duly (a very lively fellow) back then. They were amongst a number of people that made me feel at home in a largely western community, not to mention I had bully problems too. Also, thanks to Sebastien’s mother, I’d discover the wonders of quiche, which my mother makes wonderfully too now, hahahahah.

Age 12-18
Coming back to Malaysia was a burden for me, not that I had no love for my home nation; but having not spoken or written any Bahasa Malaysia for many years had its toll. The timing couldn’t have been more ‘perfect’, as I had returned just in time to sit for the all important UPSR examinations in less than a years time. It was genuinely a rough time for me and I really thank God for bringing me through in miraculous fashion. With all subjects, including math and science being in Bahasa Malaysia, one can only wonder how a non-speaker like me would not only be able to pass all subjects but obtain a 4 A’s and 1 B result!

Still, it would be a challenge in secondary school, because the command of Bahasa Malaysia required there would be at a whole new level that I wasn’t yet prepared for. Again, thankfully, God really provided all the right people around me that would eventually make me used to studying in Bahasa Malaysia. I just had the right connections to the right tuition teachers at the right time and three years down the line, I’d get through PMR pretty well too.

Of course, secondary school or high school isn’t really all about studies. We all know, that’s where we grow up a little more and things like friends and peer pressure get more real. I didn’t have a lot of friends then, and I cannot even name more than 5 people I’d call to hang out if I wanted to. I’ve probably mentioned the names Wei Yang and Alex before and I kind of stuck of them because they were real people, not the ones with high school popularity agendas.

Secondary school became a real chore for me, and a very tough place to be, especially after those two moved out. I can safely say that the best year I had in secondary school was in form three. Honestly speaking, I wouldn’t mind blotting out form 4 and 5 from my memory if I could. I got distracted from my studies and it literally went down the drain. Khye Shin and I regrouped later on in form 5, but by then it was a little late for a dramatic comeback like the ones you see in football every now and then.

After SPM, I was glad to be out of school, simply because of the last two years that really did hurt. I rushed into college, probably one of the bad decisions I’ve made. I guess I was sucked into the whole excitement of college, I enrolled into the S.A.M programme in Taylors college, where I’d go through pretty much the same thing I did in upper secondary. That would be in addition to my new found addiction for pool, where I’d be almost every other day. Again, my studies suffered and quite frankly when I realised that, I was scared if I’d ever do well in studies to qualify for a decent job.

Age 18-22
Then, I got a pretty big break. After my SPM results came out, I did apply for the PETRONAS sponsorship or more accurately, the convertible loan (which converts into a scholarship only if PETRONAS hires you and you serve them double time you spent being sponsored by them). God really blessed me with the drafting for the interview, and that too was amazing in itself, which I’ll save for another time or you can just ask me about it if you see me.

I got accepted into UTP via the sponsorship, and that was my chance at a restart. I know there’s more than one person who’d credit my status as a Bumiputera and my father being a PETRONAS employee as my credentials for being accepted into the sponsorship rather than God’s blessing, but the simple matter of fact is I know that there other people, also with their fathers being PETRONAS employees, with better SPM results than mine that didn’t even get drafted for the interview. It assures me really, of how good God has been to me even if I don’t deserve half as much.

I have to say, my years in university were a real mix of things. That’s seriously the only way I feel I can accurately describe it. The good and the bad really levelled each other out in terms of time I spent with it. I remember being really angered and disappointed by people who I would’ve have been glad to be around within a short period of time (actually I feel angry just writing about it). I guess the good thing about it was I learned more about dealing with people and not to be naive, although through a very painful way. Sadly, its also dropped my belief in people, even those of the same faith as mine. There’s a lot to love and hate about the people I’ve met there, which I guess is part of the reason I am indifferent about missing out on graduation last weekend.

Yet, I do appreciate the fact that I’ve come out of UTP with more Malay friends, something I feel was sorely lacking before. I’ve got to say, getting to know Farhan and Chee Hong, not to mention Samphors was probably one of the highlights of my last few years there. There are other good people I’ve met along the way of course, but I’m not going to list them all down here. In all of this though, God’s really shown his favour in many things, whether it was studies, lecturers, peers, church and so forth.

Age 22-23
A little like my time after secondary school, although not as extreme, I was quite relieved to leave university, back to KL. However, it wouldn’t minus from the fact that it was also a tense time waiting to see if PETRONAS would want to take me in.

However, during that time, I began to settle back in church here, which was quite an uplifting experience in a sense. That was when I began to realise, I’d entered a whole different league. You know it when you start talking to people between three to eight years older than you.

After many months, it finally happened, I got an offer and Malacca has now become my new place of residence.

Now
A lot has happened since my childhood days in Miri, and obviously there’s plenty that I’ve left out in this ‘life summary’ of mine. In all of this, the good and the bad, I thank God for bringing me to where I am right now.

Although some bad experiences in the past few years have affected the way I am now, I believe I’ll get through them in due time. It’s all part of growing into the person you’re meant to be. Nonetheless, there’s a lot of uncertainty about the future thanks to geopolitics all over the world, but it also means that the future really is wide open.

While reading through some of the things I’ve written here, I do admit that there are several things I would love to change about my past. However, knowing where I am right now, I don’t think I’d get myself a time machine if I could.

I remember that every now and then if I do a little prayer in the morning, it usually starts off with, “Father God, thank you for another day that I can live in Your mercy and Your grace.”

I’m very grateful that after 23 years, I’m still alive and that I have a role to play in whatever God’s doing on earth and I’ll do my best to play my part, whatever it may be. Thank you God, for 23 years.